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I have given my heart to the 'Light,' but God on the other hand has some splainin' to do, in my opinion. He cut us loose down here in lower heaven or upper hell with a great sadness and fear... but we who are his children down here should question his teaching methods. I understand that this dimension is an illusion but not a very kind one. Some souls fall for deep dark illusions as they need those lessons to be a deep contrast to the light... but in other dimensions the contrasts are much more subtle... like a subtle light with the slightest hint of magenta. But just as some people love horror movies because they want to be frightened...

I hope I am done in this lifetime, with the illusions of horror it offers, so I can move on to those more subtle dimensions where joy and towering joy are the learning variables.

When I was a child, I mutilated insects and feared the night. As a young man, I hated people for their different skin colors, religions, political leanings and sexual orientation. I believed God hated those not like me and believed it was brave to defend God from those he hated. The God of my youth loved me because I loved him and I could not see anything but his love for those like me. God loved me but he was a jealous and fearful old man who demanded all bow down and give their hearts to him or they would burn forever in anguish and torment. I had given all of my heart to a jealous and fearful God. That path led me to my death.

Returning from death and my meeting the Light has been a shock for me. Now, as my chin hairs are just now turning gray, I realize my belief that God hated those not like me was just like me being afraid of the dark and putting a pillow over my head to hide from it. What I refused to see could not hurt me. Today, I see clearly that the being of light I met in my Near Death Experience is not the same jealous and fearful God that I believed hated others not like me. The being of light was love. I replaced my jealous fearful God with a God who is love. Love loves and is not jealous. Love loves and is not fearful. Love is light. The Light loves the light in me and those like me yes...but more...The Light loves the light in those who outwardly, politically, religiously and philosophically appear different than me. The light in you and the light in me is all light. We are all literally God who is love. When the illusion of this world fades away... the light in all... will carry on...

If I am ever an old man, I hope to see a day when children and young people will no longer bow down to a jealous and angry God. I hope to see a day when no one will kill another because they believe their God hates the other. It is easier to correct children with fear but I hope a day will come when teachers of children will honor their children and love them enough to choose to teach children without using fear to correct them. I long to see a day when parents, preachers, priests and teachers will no longer teach their children to be jealous and fearful of others. Teaching honor will take its place. If I am ever old and die without seeing this world change, I will be okay because I died before and when I die again, I will no longer lend my soul to an angry and jealous God again. I will refuse to come back into this world of tears and pain. Into the arms of love I will remain.

Let each of us who enter into this world find our way to joy and hold on to that light. Make joy our God. Not just the joy in those like us but the joy in all.

Love, Light & Joy to All,

rudi

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