Knowing who I am

I have come to realize my that my problem was not that I did not know who I was but rather that I put the that question to myself in the first place. Who I am can never be fully known by the mind, it is to vast for human comprehension. All it leads to is striving, pushing and pulling, further separation and inner turmoil. As I learn the principles of psycho-spiritual integration, little by little I begin to recollect the others, within the lost and unwanted buried in me, or rather the vastness reveals who I am according to what me can handle. Me did the burying to avoid suffering but instead caused suffering. (Not looking at myself). As inventory of myself is taken and making it right through forgiveness and Love, that built up energy that was imprisoned or blocking is released and my relationship with Who I am and which has never been separate integrates back to its natural I am. Fear dissolves and I can be the true Love I was meant to be. It all flows freely. Joy, happiness, contentment, become the natural. I need not accumulate or bury anything anymore including negativity from those around me. The energy of Love that is now flowing can be now directed to others in subtle or creative ways to enhance the flow without more accumulation. Dropping rather than accumulating pent up energy keeps the everlasting flow in motion. Revealing more and more of the Universal intention. I need never be separate or fragmented again from who I am. A satisfying fullness of all life is recollected as the sameness of what is and what always has been. These experiences come from many directions of the same. We may call them many names, situations, lives present and past, silence but we can also sum up these experiences as Grace. Just a recollection of what really is, the Truth, the Sameness, or Who I Am. The experience must also be dropped for we can imprison these energies also, thus blocking the flow of Grace and fragmenting again. Duality or the fragmented thought of Who I am is injected through society, religion, etc., etc., and is a learned or conditioned thought. The mind (ego) can only rely or react on past thoughts. Also thought (ego) accepts and believes that which is taught and trusted. Duality or fragmentation thus is created. The sameness whose thought (ego)through which we were born with begins to alter and fragment and strongly believes in itself as separate from Who I am. The suffering begins and the search for the Truth may or may never start or find the Truth because of conditioned thought and trusted thought. Fear evolves thus strengthening the separated thought of the Truth of Who I Am. A vicious cycle of suffering continues without ever knowing because of our belief in our thoughts. Underlying all thoughts and suffering though is the simple Truth. Laying there in silence is Who I Am. Never touched or swayed. Always is and always has been. Waiting in Love for us to recollect. How we recollect must vary in many ways. I have heard many stories that have described it as surrender, Grace. White lightning experience, learned. No matter what, a physic change knew something was amiss. Either we suddenly knew the Truth or as William James would describe it we began a search of the educational variety. Either way more was to revealed to the fallacy of thought as we knew it. Generations and lifetimes of thought were questioned and dropped in various times to reveal the infinite of Who I Am. The more we looked within, the more we may drop. Simplicity became the norm, covered by our complicated thoughts. We may cry, we may feel embarrassed, we may think it insane. Ego will fight for its Life as it has known it. But once we have seen a glimpse of the Truth of Who I Am, We have become aware and seldom return to the fallacy of our old thought system. We strive to understand how we had gotten so far from the Truth. We painstakingly dropped through awareness sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. I who have become aware of this eternal Truth of Who I Am reach out from everywhere to greet and help point the way in the fullness of the Truth as all is One and always had been and always will be present. We have come back to the universal flow, no-thing-ness, GOD, the unspeakable vastness of Who I Am. To evolve in our ever changing yet pre destined plan as it seems. I don't know becomes the question and the answer. Yet I am firmly secure and supremely in Love in the moment and path ahead. I have no idea why I have written these things down. I would rather speak with you and share this Love in person. Maybe it needs to reach out further than I can shout. Blessed be what is for we are the same. All is Love Tom