getting real with myself-within myself
getting real
with myself – within myself
as I experience another day
free of smoking another cigarette
even if I still tend 2 want 2 reach 4 one
I find myself becoming more aware
of the need 2 shove something
in 2 my face 2 avoid
dealing with
the pace
of
things
I face
that
all of us
face each and
everyday – the everyday
concerns – the worries
about this
horrific
oil
spill
and now
the sewage in the
leak over in Biscayne Bay
oh my goodness
and
then
we wonder
why we have such
a need 2 shove something
in 2 our face
so
we
do not
have 2 face
all of this stuff
face 2 face
as we
race
around
at a fast pace
trying 2 save face
as we look face 2 face
with the issues
facing us
no
wonder
why there is
so much need 4 addictions
I speak 4 myself
I speak
out
loud
I am one
of the women
that feel through
the cracks
lost
my
ass
in a bottle
lost my soul in
a cigarette
pack
lost
almost
everything
nearly broke my back
but I am back again
my butt is still
here
no longer
in my face
as I used 2 shove
another cigarette butt
in 2 the ashtray
after
polluting
my lungs – what
is up with that
how in the
world
did
I fall off
my tracks
how in the world
did I lose myself inside
a bottle that can not even speak
how did I lose myself inside a cigarette
they are not my friends
why did I think
they were
how
did
this happen
I know how it happened
it happens everyday
when we do
not
deal
with issues
whirling around
inside of us
when we
try
2
be
someone
other than
our self
when
I
go
out
in 2 the
world
and
get
a
bit
stressed out
I used 2 just drink
and smoke
and
drink
some more
and end up making
an ass of myself
so I finally
decided
I have
had
enough
why continue
2 pollute myself
if I don’t fit in
I don’t fit
in
if I
don’t
play well
with others
than maybe I
should not play at all
if I can’t be me
free from
addictions
than I will never
know who I really am
so I think out loud
I say out loud
I will
Take back
my life
4
it
does
belongs
2 me
i
gave it
away 4 many
a moons
but
now
I reclaim
my mission and
vision
2
remain
in my art2zen
zen2art
and
all
will
be well
4 my issues
are deep
as
deep as a well
as large as a whale
I do know all will be well
because it has all
swelled up
inside
of me
2 huge 2
encourage anymore
2 huge 2 discourage me
any more 4 I am a
strong women
who will
stand
up and say
yes - I have my
addictions
I have
screwed up
I have done this
I have done that
they say I’ve
heard
the
truth
will set you free
well I am now free
2 think outside
the life
of
a bottle
and a box
of cigarettes
that used 2 silently
talk 2 me
or
so
I thought
they could
I now know that
I am bigger
than
that
bottle
and larger
than that cigarette
so I will sit on my butt
and type about this
get it all out
or at
least
some of it
laugh about it
get frustrated about it
get annoyed about it
as I do something
about this
namaste
maryangelo
Maryanne H. Patlak
living another day sober
in South Beach
how sweet
is that
6/22/10 9:01:58 AM
Views: 17
Comment
"Why should there be hunger and deprivation in any land, in any city, at any table, when man has the resources and the scientific know-how to provide all mankind with the basic necessities of life?"
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
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