Emotions do not create pain, right? Rather, it is our resistance to emotions that actually creates the pain. In other words, if you were to experience your emotions fully, with no resistance, not one fiber of contraction in your entire body, then you would experience something entirely different when a strong emotion came up.
For example, anger. The emotion, of itself, is entirely natural and good. Anger is good. Period. It empowers you to take action, to stand up for yourself, to create boundaries.
Good for you!
However, anger held onto is quite different. Anger held onto is resistance to experiencing your own anger, internalized. For whatever reason, you may have a core root belief that your anger is bad, or that anger itself is bad, or whatever. When you hold back and internalize this anger, you turn the anger on yourself. Internalized anger can then become or do many things, none of which are good. One is that it can cause cancer. One is that it can cause you to overreact to any situation that irritates you. One is that it can tear your body apart from the inside out.
Imagine your anger as a pitbull terrier. These are such loving, loyal, and mistunderstood animals, no? This pitpull is your loyal servant. When somebody steps on your tail, they may get a warning growl. When somebody stomps on your tail, they may get bitten. Very natural. Natural anger creates natural boundaries. This equals good.
However, when you deny your anger, and decide to leash your pitpull in the basement, bad things happen. Down there in the dark, your pitpull becomes different. It starts to grow mean. You no longer pet it or talk to it, because you are scared of it. You throw it bits of scraps here and there, but it is now very very angry. You have denied it, and it grows bigger and meaner every day. Now, you are so scared of this thing that you do whatever you have to to keep it at bay. You are scared of what it will do, and you are scared of the repercussions of what it will do.
I have a better idea, I think. What if, when you experience anger, or sadness, or jealousy, or envy, or greed, or lust....what if you just release and allow? What if, whenever you experience an extreme emotion, you relax all the way into it. I'm talking, depression, anger, sadness, the ENTIRE spectrum here.
A lot of people are scared about this bit, of surrendering to your emotions. However, I challenge you to do this. I'm also not talking about, if you are sitting on the couch, broke out of your mind, and depressed about it-to surrender to your depression. You need to get your ass out there and get a job. I'm talking if you are resisting your emotions to the point that they are unconsciously ruling your life.
Maybe it's time to try something new, eh?
Try this out:
1)relax, get into a comfortable position, meditatively speaking
2)Think about whatever's bothering you the most right now
3)See what thoughts, feelings, or images this brings up for you
4)Now, ask yourself if you could allow this to be here as best as you possibly can. Be honest, and give yourself a minute or two, but don't lie and say that you can, when you can't. If you can't allow it to be here, then say that instead.
5)Now, ask yourself if you could let this go, just for a minute, if you could let this go. Give yourself a minute or two. Be honest, don't lie to yourself. If the answer is yes great, if the answer is no, great.
5)Now, ask yourself if you would allow yourself to let this go. Same thing as before, but 'would' instead of 'could'.
6)Now ask yourself, when? When would you let this go? Again, another minute or two.
7)Now check to see how your feeling inside, what thoughts, feelings, or emotions are you experiencing? More? Then repeat this process again and again. Each time you might empty the glass a little more, or a lot more.
I love this meditation myself, I extracted it from the Sedona Method, but I have slightly morphed it to fit my needs. When you really allow emotions to express themselves then they are great. When you repress them, they will cause suffering.