Karla Solano

There are many times in our lives when we come across situations that bring forth answers to understanding why we are a certain way. Relationships, for example, have a way of bringing out the best and the worst in us.

It is important to observe any patterns we keep re-living in each experience with others and question why we think situations are repeating themselves at different times of our lives. One of the major reasons why we re-live experiences that cause us pain is because we do not allow things to take place in a natural flow.

We are so preoccupied with taking control that we prematurely abort relationships before they even have a chance to emerge or on the contrary, we rush into relationships because we don’t like to be alone. This need to control the direction of any relationship is nothing more than the reflection caused by fear; whether is the fear of getting hurt or the need to always have someone by our side for the fear of being alone and having to face ourselves.

Guarding our heart is just a defense mechanism, a way to push people away before they get too close; We’ve all had our hearts broken at some point in our life causing us to create a very thick protective wall to guard our most precious and vulnerable organ….our heart. But the reality is that no matter what the circumstances are, we have to realize that unless we fully release the fear caused by past experiences and learn how to embrace and love ourselves unconditionally, we will never give the chance to anyone to fully be a part of our life in a meaningful way. Because we cannot give to anyone what we don’t give to ourselves.

Understanding that this protective wall can be broken down is the first step in the right direction to healing our emotional state, the second step is to go back to the past and identify the cause of our emotional blockages; asking ourselves what is it about previous experiences that we still carry within? What is it that doesn’t allow us to fully connect with others in a trusting way? Why do we let go before giving anything a true chance of just being? Why are we so afraid to committing ourselves to anyone? Why can’t we just enjoy each experience as they come without worrying about the outcome?

Answering these questions with honesty can really help us realize why we have put up that protective wall around our heart, and it will also help us see with clarity how to heal those past wounds so that we can be open and free to embrace, love and enjoy without hesitation all the relationships that we will encounter throughout our lifetime.

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