Growth By Design

How often have we marveled at the beauty of a butterfly while also failing to acknowledge the changes it went through to achieve it? Such willful blindness is of course natural when we remember how painful change can be, yet few things are as painful as staying stuck where we don’t belong.

The way we choose to live our lives is a direct reflection of the stories we tell ourselves, and these stories reveal our fears just as much as our values. We will resist change every time we overvalue what we already have and undervalue what we stand to gain, if only we are willing to let go.

Perhaps the most powerful force that can keep anyone from initiating positive change for their life is the fear of failure. And this is certainly understandable, because everyone has their own personal experience with failure, but these failures can only become roadblocks and setbacks when we allow the fear of striking out keep us out of the game. In such moments of despair, it can be encouraging to remember that yesterday’s strike outs cannot lose today’s game—but negative rumination will.

What you nurture will grow, so why spend time fertilizing weeds? Instead, tend to the causes of your growth, let go of what no longer serves you, bloom where you’re planted, and let your light shine.

Like a stained-glass window, it’s easy to sparkle in the light of day, but when darkness sets in, your true beauty is only revealed when you allow your inner light to shine. So put your light on a stand so all who come into your house can clearly see, focus on your values rather than fear, and whatever makes you truly come alive, go after it! Your story has not ended! Go after whatever sparks your joy with the same determination you would exert to demand a gasp of air after being under water for too long.

A caterpillar is not meant to die a caterpillar, and neither are you.

Desire Isn’t Enough

The value of seeking positive change has been endorsed by countless leaders in their field and the message you just heard is a synthesis of encouraging words from the likes of Maya Angelou, James Belasco, Les Brown, Thomas Carlyle, Elizabeth Kubler-Rose, N. R. Narayana Murthy, Howard Thurman, Babe Ruth, and Norman Vincent Peale. This unified message calls attention to the notion that truly no one will make changes in their life until they hurt enough that they want to change—like experiencing the painful desire for air while under water.

That said, it’s one thing to experience enough pain to desire change, and it’s quite another to learn enough that you know how to change and receive enough that you are able to change. You may want to come up for air, but if there are obstacles and forces keeping you down, you’re never going to make it to the surface. Merely wanting to change isn’t enough—you also have to learn and receive the required drivers that enable those changes.

If you’re getting ready to make some positive changes for yourself, your team, or your organization—or even if you’re just thinking about thinking about it—then I encourage you to take some time for honest reflection on the desired results you’re looking for, why they’re important, and what you’ll need to enable you to follow through. Such clarity provides a clear path so even the most difficult of challenges won’t be able to stop you—yet without this clarity, even the smoothest of roads can hold you back.

Required Drivers for Positive Change

What follows is a list of five questions to help you get started. These are the same questions I ask all my Hashtag Positivity clients during the intake process to understand their challenges, goals, and obstacles and paint a clear picture for how we’ll work together to achieve their desired results for individual, team, and organizational growth by design.

After reflecting on these questions, I encourage you to connect with me to discuss your key insights:

1. The Desire Question

This question asks, “What do you want to do?” State your desire in specific terms by including these supporting details:

• How does your desire express who you are? You are more than what you do—you are a human being, not a human doing—so a complete response to the desire question will need to include how your desire supports your place in the fabric of the universe. It might help here to consider your values and virtues. You might not necessarily include these in your answer, but it may help you to sculpt your answer.
• Why is your desire important? What do you stand to lose if you don’t fulfill your mission? And what do you stand to gain if you do? What’s motivating you?

2. The Ability Question

This question asks, “What can you do?” Describe what you’re currently capable of doing. In other words, how will the knowledge, skills, resources, support, and opportunities gained from your prior experiences help you achieve your desired results?

3. The Responsibility Question

This question asks, “What must you do?” List the responsibilities that you must tend to. These may be voluntary responsibilities you choose to accept or they may be responsibilities imposed by your role, organization, sponsor, and so forth. Being honest about your responsibilities will help you create a growth plan that doesn’t include conflicts of interest.

4. The Commitment Question

This question asks, “What will you do?” Explain how committed you are to achieving your desired results. What are you willing to give up in order to grow up? What changes are you willing to make along the way?

5. The Requirement Question

This question asks, “What do you need?” Describe the gap in your knowledge, skills, resources, support, and opportunities that will need to be filled in to enable your success. As you list these required drivers, consider any challenges and obstacles that might get in your way and indicate what you will need to stay the course, follow through, and achieve your desired results.

This question is often overlooked, yet it’s a key element that will enable your critical behaviors. It’s not enough to want to change and know how to change; you also have to be able to change, which can only happen when you receive the needed wind for your sails.

Reflection

1. What do you want to do?
2. What can you do?
3. What must you do?
4. What will you do?
5. What do you need?

Final Thoughts

How often have we marveled at the beauty of a butterfly while also failing to recognize the changes it had to experience to get there? We will fail to make our own positive changes every time we overvalue what we already have and undervalue what we stand to gain if only we are willing to let go. You can experience your own transformation when you remind yourself that a caterpillar is not meant to die a caterpillar, and neither are you. By engaging in the five reflection questions provided here, you’ll be empowered and encouraged to initiate positive change for lifelong growth by design.

Want More?

Jonas Cain, M.Ed. is a storyteller, magician, musician, and facilitator of fascination. Through his company, Hashtag Positivity, he engages, empowers, and encourages individuals, teams, and communities to experience abiding joy—at work, at home, and wherever life takes you. Connect with Jonas today to discuss your challenges, goals, and obstacles: jonas@hashtagpositivity.com