untitled ~by me

I sit and reminisce
and admit
how I ran from you for years
looking for happiness
and bliss.
I hide from you in denial,
in tears
afraid of you
afraid to become you
afraid to acknowledge you
but for years you chased me,
patiently
and faithfully .
Always waiting for me to look at you
embrace you,
become you,
forever in my search for bliss,
I refused you.
Still you always surfaced,
I saw you just before love fell on me
.........but never fall in love .
I saw you in the dead leaves
.......... never really appreciated the trees .
I saw you before i made a new friend
....... still no one to hold my hand
no joy,
no bliss ,
on my search for happiness ......................
You have met me at every cross road like a friend
you were every thought and every returned gift like love
you were the tree and the dead leaves,
you were what was below the above .
I did not know you were the lock and the key.
I did not know you were sent as the prayer for me.
I became tired of running and hiding from you ,
gave up looking for happiness
tired and broken by your relentless chase
Finally I surrendered,
fell into your embrace..........
and there was Joy, unexpected
happiness in you, first time experienced
i found it all in you
my forever faithful companion ,
so many wasted years running from it
thank you my friend sorrow,
my ever shadow of bliss.