How could she be so selfish

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Permalink Reply by Nikki Williams on March 27, 2009 at 8:50am

I learned many years ago, in grief counseling, that everyone's grief is completely unique. It's possible that your cousin is the kind of person who feels, probably secretly, that she can't handle a service. Perhaps she's a distant person. Perhaps she has her own personal, and private way of memorializing those she has lost. Perhaps she is living in denial and feels if she keeps her distance that it won't hurt as much. I know I'm not an expert and I don't know your situation completely. Also, I just joined this community yesterday, so I wish I could have read your post sooner, and I'm sorry for this coming a month and a half later. The one thing that can overcome the hurt and anger that you have is love. I find the best way to deal with a person whose actions seem selfish and unacceptable, is to reach out with thoughts and prayers centered and grounded in love. Simply love her, even with her faults. Send positive thoughts and energy to her and of her into the universe. You are both in need of healing. I will keep you in my thoughts and I am deeply sorry for your loss.

Peace, Love, and Light,

Nikki

Permalink Reply by MiraCulous on March 27, 2009 at 10:07am

wonderful words, you are both so Beautiful. Thank you for being who you are- Gifts to the world <3

I hope they helped you Maria. I would add to it, but there is nothing else to say.

Permalink Reply by Maria Prins on March 28, 2009 at 12:13am

thank you all for your kind words. Sometimes you just need to hear another person's point of view to understand why things are the way they are.
I have been on my journey to inner peace for a while now, and for the most part I do good. Things rarely get to me, and I don't struggle with the petty things that make a lot of people tick (or not). However, once in a while, something will gain my attention and I will let it get the best of me.
I have, since writing this, come to terms with her. she is who she is, and I am not one to tell her where to go or what to do. I don't wish anyone to tell me that I am right or wrong and I am an avid believer of the golden rule. I also try to surround myself with positivity, and I find her presence rather negative. I don't really talk to her, AT ALL, but the reason isn't her absence at the funeral(s). It's not anger, either. It's more a lack of common ground.
As far as my faith goes, I am a follower of Jesus as well. At this point in time, I don't believe that religion is going to get me to heaven. Faith is the only key, and I pray daily for strenth and understanding. I get the most out prayer than anything else in my life...

Permalink Reply by White Buffalo Calf Woman on September 8, 2009 at 5:48pm

Maria, Light a fire to get out of your mire, because only this purification will set you free. And when you start, be sure to write on paper (wood, for the trunk unites heaven and earth with the law of love) all you need, then burn it up and make a start to be the one who is set free.
your devoted servant, white buffalo calf woman, your twin deer mother, really it's that simple my love, to believe!