tribal bullshit

In a world where it is only permissible to express my thinking within an academic setting, where I want to tell this recruiter sitting at the same coffee shop, talking to another human being; trying to sell her off like a fucking inanimate object; where it is so hard to break away from that energetically, tribally, socially enforced perspective of what is right and proper; I find my hands shaking and my heart trembling as I wanted to tell this motherfucker that I love him, but I hate what he's doing, but I couldn't. Now I type it up on facebook and myspace, and I'll probably read it at Designated Space; but damn that pressure, that something higher than me is imposed simply by a basic need to be somewhat proper. I am left with this as my upheaval. Fuck this. And a phone call from a friend is all I hold on to.